![]() ![]() What is it that makes you happy more than anything?’ This can be a good question for parents too. ![]() Try to focus on the small things that make you smile. Remind your child: ‘By focusing on what is in your control and what you can do, you allow yourself to be in charge. This will help create space for your child to say more positive beliefs about herself. ![]() Remember parents: your job is only to listen here. This way, she will learn to separate her own self-worth from her unwanted thoughts. Your child will realize how worthless each unwanted thought is. The same thoughts that feel so real and self-defining, will crumble when said out loud. Voicing intrusive thoughts can be very powerful. This can be a parent, teacher, therapist, or all the above. I am strong.” Having someone who genuinely listens to your child and cares about them is such a relief for you and your child. See if your child has some ideas for what you can do together to help them feel more comfortable in their own shoes.Įncourage your child to say bold words out loud: “I am smart. So what can you do with your child today that makes you and your child really feel content? Try getting outdoors – perhaps meet at the park or even walk along the beach. The opposite of needing to be in control of your world, is feeling content in your own skin. Everyone ~parents and children alike~ feel like this from time to time. ![]() Your child’s “bad thoughts” do not make him or her a “bad person”.Īccording to researchers Clark and Radomsky ‘ … unwanted intrusive thoughts are reported by the majority of individuals in all countries.’ Not being in control feels chaotic and overwhelming, and everyone has felt this way before… I am here to tell you that your child is not a hot mess and *newsflash* nor are you.Practice thinking about each thought while not turning to to be in control.’ This will help your child to take back the reigns, and reclaim the power back from their intrusive thoughts. Work your way up the ladder to the thought at the top that is most scary to you. Ask your child or teen to, ‘start at the bottom of the ladder with the thought that is least disturbing to you. This way, you’ll be doing what you need to do to feel safe, but you’ll be training your mind to stop the worry loop.’Ĭreate a ladder of upsetting thoughts together. Make yourself the deal that you’ll only wash your hands say, twice, instead of every time you get the pushy thought. Do your best to ignore the thought, and not act on your need to get reassurance by washing your hands one more time.Īlternatively, put a limit on it. You will keep needing to do it over and over again. When you want to wash your hands for the 5th time in one hour, remind yourself that it will only feel good in the moment. But soon he’ll lose interest and leave you alone. As you start to ignore him, he won’t go away immediately. The more you throw that ball, the more he chases after it and brings it back each time with more energy. ‘…unwanted thoughts are like that puppy that keeps dropping his ball at your feet. Training our thoughts is like training a puppy.Įxplain intrusive thoughts in a simple way.Here are five ways to help your child manage any intrusive thoughts that might be pushing a little too hard for attention: This need your child has to control their world is the birthplace of a vicious cycle of unwanted thoughts. In the same way you try to control your world, so does your child. Especially, if your child struggles with unwanted thoughts. As if it isn’t even yours anymore.Īs a parent, the desire to control your world can feel overwhelming. When this happens, it can feel as if you are watching your life from afar. She keeps having these thoughts – that her friends won’t like her, or that something might happen to you when she isn’t with you, and now she wants you to know. She talks through her tears about how overwhelming it is to live like this. ‘This isn’t the first time this has happened’, she says. The thoughts won’t leave her and the longer they go on, the more convincing they become. She told you that she can’t stop thinking that she’ll fail her next set of exams. Your teenager has confided in you this week. ![]()
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